How my journey began

As a lifelong dreamer with a flair for the arts, I was always creating shows. By the age of 5, I was the star. My family was a great audience consistently supporting my dreams, but the outside world, had other ideas. I was full of potential, sensitive, and prone to fears of embarrassment. All the support and love from my family, that great audience, didn’t stop my insecurities from growing and taking over. These insecurities grew into a consistent fear of rejection that forced me to abandon me, my needs, wants, and feelings, in order to fit in. The constant thoughts were: could I measure up? How was I supposed to look? What should I think? How to act? I was desperate to not be rejected. All those messages from culture, which a tween easily and hungrily ate up, completely overshadowed any support and love I got at home. Before I could even describe it, the constant fear, now just anxiety and depression, had taken over. I have distinct memories of laughing along as kids made fun of my body and the fact that nobody invited me to the school dance because I didn’t want them to see what was underneath, pain. As long as I was laughing, then they wouldn’t know I was hurting. Nothing was more important than fitting in.

Into my 20s and early 30s, the common issues, such as self-esteem, body dysmorphia, and confidence shifted, but the prevailing lack of trust in myself was my biggest roadblock. This barrier to owning my brilliance showed up everywhere. I remember being out with my boyfriend, and his friends, trying to hold his hand. He pulled away and made a comment about how spending time with me wasn’t special, I should have left right then. But I didn’t. Instead I got smaller on the inside, asked for less, spoke up less, convinced myself I needed less. Somewhere inside me I knew I was accepting less than what I truly deserved, but I didn’t know how to stand up for what I yearned for. The uncertainty showed up when I didn’t apply for a promotion, convinced I wouldn’t get it. It showed up in my paychecks when I accepted the company line that there wasn’t enough money for a raise that year. I was a “go with the flow” kind of girl often accepting “good enough” because it was better than nothing. Then one day I realized this fear of rejection was a smoke screen. Being happy was never going to happen if I consistently shrank and hid ME. I deserved a full life. I hadn’t yet figured out how to empower myself from the inside, but the knowing it could happen was there. It clicked one day when I was out with friends laughing and sharing stories. One friend kept cutting me off and literally told me that I was wrong.  But I wasn’t, and I knew it.  So, I said so.  Instead of shrinking, I stepped into my brilliance, trusting my worth. No more good enough.

The more I trusted me, and the brilliance that lived inside all along, the more amazing things happened.  I started listening to the therapists, coaches, and mentors in my life. I got out of my way and did the work to change my mindset. As I did, everything started to change. I left jobs that didn’t value me. I left relationships that were toxic and no longer invited people who were not going to reciprocate a true friendship into my life. I found my voice. The results of finding my brilliance and shining: I got a new job with a new title and pay raise. People that were not good for my well-being fell by the wayside and made room for those that were. The more I used my voice and trusted myself, the better my life got. In allowing myself to not be stopped by that roadblock of fear, I saw how resourceful and strong I was. The brilliance wasn’t just a tiny spark deep down inside anymore, it was shining. People were noticing. I was noticing! When I truly embraced my empowered, confident, secure self my world came alive. Today, my life is full of amazing relationships. The people I keep in my life love me for me. I run my own business. I no longer abandon my needs and desires. In breaking free from my own barriers, I now go for what I deserve, and I get it. Things I used to only be able to dream about are now my reality. It has been a journey to find my authentic self and it would be an honor to help you embrace your brilliance too!